


Competition

by lucyrne (theungenue)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Circle Mage Bethany Hawke, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Feels, Female Hawke/Sebastian Vael - Freeform, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired By A Softer World, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), Light Angst, Post-Game(s), Prompt Fill, Unrequited Love, Varric Tethras is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 12:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18052301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theungenue/pseuds/lucyrne
Summary: When Varric walks a despondent Bethany home after Hawke and Sebastian's engagement party, he gives her a pep talk neither of them will ever forget.





	Competition

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough. (Participation medals of the heart.)

The Hanged Man had never hosted a royal engagement party before, but there was a first time for everything. The storied establishment rose to the occasion as only a tavern could: with bawdy singing, ruthless card games, and a never-ending flow of ale. If marriages were as successful as the parties celebrating them, then the union between the Champion of Kirkwall and Prince of Starkhaven was fated to last.

Amidst all the drinking and laughter, the Champion’s less famous sister slumped at the bar. Bethany propped her elbows on the counter and rested her chin in her palm, and as her eyes grew heavy, she leaned more and more into her arm until she jolted herself awake. After blearily looking around the room to make sure no one saw, she began the process anew. 

Varric watched this cycle a few times before setting down his cards. “Your sister is wilting,” he said to Hawke over the din. “I’m going to walk her back to Hightown before she passes out on the floor. Who knows, maybe you’ll actually win a round of Diamondback while I’m gone.” 

Hawke flashed her middle finger at him from her position in Sebastian’s lap, while the groom-to-be himself laughed and pressed a kiss to her temple. They probably wouldn’t notice Varric’s absence for long, being so drunk on their own happiness. Usually, he found sugary sweet lovebirds dreadfully annoying, but he would always make an exception for his best friend. 

Bethany did not protest when Varric informed her that it was time to go home. He covered her tab while she was busy hugging Hawke goodnight, and soon they were on their way. 

The streets of Lowtown were dark and quiet, save for the muffled singing drifting through the tavern’s open windows. Bethany walked ahead in a careless zigzag up the cobbled streets. She acted buoyant and elated, as one should do after their sister’s engagement party, but it seemed put on. A sadness ran through her. It just took an experienced eye to pick it out. 

Truthfully, Varric had suspected as much the entire evening. After all, Bethany had it bad for Choirboy long before he and Hawke decided to get hitched. It was all water under the bridge as far as he knew, but that didn’t make it less difficult. Or less painful. 

Varric knew the feeling all too well. When they were a distance away from the Hanged Man, he broke the silence.

“It’s not easy watching the man you love marry somebody else,” he said. “You’re taking it with more grace than most.”

When Bethany was tipsy, her reactions became twice as exaggerated. What normally would earn him a subtle eyeroll instead inspired a loud scoff that echoed down the street. 

“Oh please,” she said, “Marian and I have already talked this through to the Void and back. I got over it long ago. My sister’s happiness is what’s truly important, and Sebastian makes her happy. That’s more than good enough for me.”

Tension eased from his shoulders when he didn’t detect any lies hidden in her words. “Glad to hear it, Sunshine.” Sometimes, Varric wondered if the younger Hawke was destined for sainthood. Slights that would grow into full-blown grudges for most people just didn’t sink their claws into her. 

“At least the next time a lucky guy catches your eye, you won’t have your sister as competition,” he said, perhaps a little too flippantly. 

“Competition.” Bethany seemed to swirl the word in her mouth. “I don’t think I ever qualified as competition.”

 _Shit._ “Look, I didn’t mean--”

“How could I have? While they were going on adventures and falling in love, I was trapped in the Circle. I couldn’t act on my feelings even if I wanted to, and by the time I finally could, it was too late.” Bethany stopped. She clenched her fists and stared up at the moon, half-shrouded in darkness amidst menacing grey clouds. “Maybe the dashing prince could’ve fallen for me, or maybe it really is destiny for him and Marian to be together. I never had the chance to even _try_.” 

Ah, there it was. Sunshine wasn’t upset that the man she once loved was marrying her older sister. She wasn’t even mourning what could have been if the dice rolled in her favor. It was the _opportunity_ she had lost. 

Varric knew full well how unrequited love burned, how terribly one ached inside knowing that their best would never be good enough. That particular brand of sadness carved a reservoir in his heart and pooled there, waiting for the dam to burst and let free a deluge of unspent emotion. Flooding people with feelings they never asked for was never a good idea, so he kept it boarded up where it couldn’t hurt anyone, least of all himself. A bit sad, but Varric made his peace with it. He lived for his friends and their stories now, not the pathetic fantasies of what would never be. 

But to not even have the opportunity to put his best self forward, to make an honest attempt at an argument? Varric didn’t know shit about that kind of pain. Sunshine lost more locked up in the Circle than he had realized. 

Bethany kept staring at the sky as if she hoped to find a message from the Maker written up there. “I mean it when I say I’m not in love with Sebastian anymore, and that I’m happy for Marian,” she continued. “It’s just...sometimes I feel like the world has left me behind, and I just don’t know if I’ll ever catch up.”

Varric stared at her. He considered himself an observant person, but he had no idea she felt so abandoned, lost. Sunshine always smiled and helped others find the brighter side of terrible situations. Some of those smiles must have been smokescreens to hide her real pain--and he fell for it.

Bethany shuddered as if to shake away her own negative thoughts. “Sorry,” she said. “Let’s just get to Hightown.” Crossing her arms, she soldiered on.

Varric hurried after her. His mind whirred. He couldn’t let Sunshine go to bed feeling alone or left behind. He just couldn’t.

They ascended a set of stairs marking the transition from Lowtown into Hightown. Varric ran slightly ahead of Bethany so he could walk and talk without losing sight of her face. 

“Here’s what you’re going to do,” he began. “Go to Starkhaven with your sister. Stock up on pretty dresses and jewelry using your brother-in-law’s money--or my money, if Choirboy makes a stink about it. Your happiness is an investment I’m more than willing to make. Armed to the teeth with beautiful things, you attend the big parties, dance with boys who don’t deserve you, reject the ones who come close but not quite. Charm the pants off them. You’re pretty, your sister is a hero, and she’s marrying the prince, so half the work is already done for you.”

Sunshine listened with curiosity and an uncertain simper. Her body language opened up, and Varric saw her sadness slowly thaw as he continued. 

“Repeat that for a while. Try people on and see if they fit. It will take a long time, and you might break your heart along the way, but you’ll learn a lot about people, the world, yourself. Plus you’ll have some fun while you’re at it.” 

He threw an impish wink her way, earning a genuine laugh. Good. Laughter was good. 

“When you least expect it, it will happen. Everything you’ll have been through will have prepared you for a single moment. The moment you realize you’ve found the person you’ll devote your life to, the person you’ll stand by no matter what. Knowing you as I do, that lucky bastard will think the same thing and propose after the second date.” 

“And then,” Varric said in his grand finale, “you will invite me to your wedding ceremony, because everyone knows dwarves give the greatest toasts. It’s a fact, just like how elves make the best wine.”

They arrived at the gates of the Hawke estate. The clouds overhead cleared, revealing a deep indigo sky dotted with countless sparkling stars. Kirkwall wasn’t a pretty city (and certainly not a nice-smelling one), but on nights like this, Varric truly believed it was best place in Thedas. It was a shame that his favorite family would be leaving it soon for brighter pastures in Starkhaven. 

“If your toast is anything like all that, then it’ll be quite the spectacle,” Bethany said. 

“The point is, life isn’t a race you’re trying to win,” Varric concluded. “It’s a journey, and every good journey worth retelling has highs and lows. Get to my ripe old age and maybe you’ll have cause to worry, but I doubt you’ll have any problems on that front.” 

Just to be sure she made it home safe, Varric walked her up to the mansion’s front door. Bethany appeared reluctant to go inside. 

“You really think someone could feel that way about me?” she asked. “I’ve never--no one has ever--is it even possible?”

Varric took her hands and looked up at her with a sincere smile. “I know it is.” 

Bethany’s eyes lit up with happiness. Her entire being seemed glow. New leaks sprung in the dam. Affection long locked away bubbled forth, and for the first time in years, Varric’s felt the pang of love flash across his palms and chest. 

_Shit._

He dropped her hands somewhat suddenly. “Drink some water and get some sleep,” Varric said, turning his back to her. He descended the estate steps and rubbed the back of his neck. “Your sister is going to have an Arishok-sized hangover tomorrow. Her complaining will be easier to deal with if you’re not nursing your own.”

Bethany giggled. “It’s Sebastian’s duty to deal with that now, not mine.”

When Varric got back to the Hanged Man, he would have a chat with Choirboy about his duties towards _both_ Hawke sisters. Sunshine might not be marrying him, but she deserved the happiness she yearned for. If Sebastian whisked her away to Starkhaven to be a part of their new royal family, he better do his part to help her find it. 

Varric said goodbye over his shoulder and kept walking. When he heard the door shut behind him, he allowed his shoulders to slump. Maker’s ass, this was new. Or maybe it had been there all along, and he was just too oblivious to figure it out. He would need a stiff drink when he sat down to decide what he ought to do about it, if anything. He didn’t see much room for him in the fantasy he had built for Sunshine. Even if there was, she probably did not want him taking up that space in her life. 

“Wait! Varric!” 

He stopped and looked back towards the estate. 

Bethany had not gone inside at all, but had continued watching him from the top of the stairs. She shot him a grin wide enough to break the dawn. 

“It’s possible for you, too!” she said. “You’re not actually _that_ old.” 

Varric threw back his head and laughed. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I mean it! You’re going to charm your way into someone’s heart and it’s going to be fantastic! I can’t dream up an entire story on the spot like you can, but I just know it’ll happen.”

If there was any lingering doubt about the truth of Varric’s feelings, they faded away. He felt a jolt of affection so intense, he thought it must be leaking out of him in streams of liquid gold. When Bethany’s smile grew even wider and more brilliant, he wondered if she could see it.

“I wouldn’t put any money on that,” Varric said, “but it’s a nice thought. Goodnight, Sunshine.”

Bethany waved goodbye. “Thank you, for everything,” she called after him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I?”

His breath bottled itself up in his chest briefly. “Of course -- if I’m not too hungover.”

Varric spent his walk back to the Hanged Man biting back a smile. Sunshine might not have known it, but she _did_ dream up a good story on the spot, or at least the outline of one. The hero charms his way into the heroine’s heart. Everything is fantastic. That was about half the plot required for a romance. All he had left to do was take his own advice and use the slim opportunity he still had to write it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Say hi at lucyrne.tumblr.com.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Resolution](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081701) by [LadyNorbert](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNorbert/pseuds/LadyNorbert)




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